Better yet I have questions for you.

Will take the risk and suffer the casualty?

What’s with me, why i am destructive?

Why I can’t even love you more than you deserve?

Would you believe in my words? Even if I’m damned flirt?

But a Promise is a promise yet if you can’t wait, I will understand ‘cos I must understand.  There’s more WORTHY than me. I’m a piece of junk. Promise me that no matter what happen you’ll stay happy and joyful even if I’m not with you. The reason I’ve set you free is because there’s lot more opportunities than me.

My Today’s Music: Beautiful Girl by Sean Kingston

Mood: So-So

 /ˈgaɪgoʊ/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[gahy-goh] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun Computers.

[Origin: 1965–70; g(arbage) i(n) g(arbage) o(ut)]

That’s meaning of Gigo. Some people thinks that its a shortcut formed of Gigolo. Well, I am not SEXY to be one but I know I have a cute face to burst out. BLEH! I do admit I’m a big flirt does it fit be called one as “Gigolo”? I guess so. I aint a good dancer anyway.

Gigolo and No Disposition……

These are things I hate about myself. Being a flirt Ive lost friends that value most. Even my Bestfriend now thinks of me that Im a worthless no disposition guy. It’s really hard to be haunted by the past. Hearing the words repetatively in your ears even that already passed. “Ever since you are worthless! Do have a disposition sometimes” the exact words that my bestfriend told me. Reason? cause I flirted out a girl that he likes. He thinks I betrayed him for a girl. Even though my reason is shallow, I did kissed the girl to know if she’s a flirt like me or not. Yet my mistake is I kissed the Girl infront of him. What I did backlashed on me like KABOOM!

I know its my fault for being impulsive in my actions but its already too late to regret it. The Damage is already done. If i only have a time machine or a power to control time, I’ll go back to that time and correct my mistake yet it’s next to impossible.

I hate myself for being selfish.

I hate myself for being a good adviser that does’nt follow my own advice.

I hate myself for being a “worthless no disposition person”

I hate myself for being a biggest flirt

I hate everything all about me.

Sometimes, I thought of killing myself. But the moment I wield the knife and use to cut my vein. I couldnt do it. because deep inside of me knows it worthless.

I wish I could be a person that Ive wished for.

I wish I could spill out anything in my mind to any person that is willing.

Problem is, I can’t spill it out even I tried. I cant say the words I utterly want to.

The person listening to my everything and even the rantings now gone and hates me. I know he is still. Even though we already talked and settled it out. He just told me that I can’t win the friendship back. Chaos brought it before and if we will  bring the friendship back it will cause chaos.

For me say, Why can’t give a single chance to prove him that he is wrong? Am I that tarnished?

I just the miss the time as before.

People thinks that I do have anything I want. But they are wrong, there are things that I cant have even i paid it with my blood.